Howdy, peeps!

When last we spoke, I spoke of setting the bar a little higher than shitting on the toilet instead of on the floor. I am happy to report that, since then, I have not shit on the floor. Nope. Not even once.

I really should have been back before now to talk more about this, but… well… I haven’t been. Mostly because I have a mile wide lazy streak running through my soul. I’m trying to work on this, and some days are better than others. Let me fill you in on my bare minimum list of essential to-do items that do help. Maybe some of it will inspire you.

  1. Change your underwear. Even if you don’t shower. Bacteria accumulates in your panties, and a nice fresh pair will help keep the stench down. Also? It just feels nice.
  2. By that same token, put on a fresh pair of pants. Whatever hits your panties will, nine out of ten times, make it to your pants. Or… hell… if you’re in for the day, pants aren’t even required.
  3. Put on some deodorant. I promise you that lack of stench helps.
  4. Brush your teeth. If you can only manage one item on this list, make it this one. Trust and believe you will feel worse when you see the damage caused by not taking care of your chompers.
  5. Brush your hair.
  6. Try to get yourself a little fresh air and sunshine.
  7. Do not, under any circumstances, shit on the floor.

Once these items are accomplished, one of two things will happen. You will either be carried by the momentum they generate and you will engage in other productive activities or, alternatively, you still won’t feel it. In that case, provided you don’t have to go to work, park your ass on the couch and do something to grow your mind. Read a book or watch a documentary.

Hey, regardless of what our friends say, it’s helpful to know about serial killers.

My though process is that learning something new or adding to something you already know is productive.

Also, try to avoid social media. Social media only makes people in a certain frame of mind feel bad about themselves or angry at people they normally enjoy. Why do that to yourself? You deserve better.

Oh, and, hey, remember to congratulate yourself because you did some of the things, and you have the added bonus of not having shit on the floor.

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