Yes, I’m one of those annoying assholes who does an end of the year “taking stock” kind of post most years. Hell, I may even set resolutions for the new year. Can you believe that actually bothers some people? Like it’s any skin off your nose what I choose to do with my little corner of the interwebs. haha.
Let me move on before I get any more snarky.
The themes of today’s post are (in no particular order): upheaval, heartbreak, unemployment, remodeling, moving, and travel.
In April, a 7 year relationship ended. I reeled for a long time afterwards. If I can offer some advice:
- If you have to move out of a home you shared with a significant other, make the move ASAP. I physically left right away, but it took me a long time to get my belongings out of the house. Truth be told, I have stuff left to get, still. And my cat. My cat is still there. Leaving things linger for any amount of time only delays healing.
- If you have any self-preservation instincts whatsoever, do NOT sleep with your ex. Nine out of ten times, this is not a sign of them wanting to work things out with you, and you will only end up feeling bad about yourself. 99.9% of the time, you are not that one time that will get a different outcome. This is just a BAD IDEA.
I quit a job that I loved, that paid well, and where I worked with people I love. Why did I leave? Because it was killing my soul. I’m still trying to figure out how this reconciles, me loving the job while having my soul killed. I think it was the process. I enjoyed the process, but when it got down to how specific people were affected, that was the part I couldn’t handle. I knew something was up when I had to open an FMLA case for anxiety. So… I left. In doing that, I gave up a LOT. In doing that, I am hoping I have saved my sanity. I do know that my job is not the reason I’ve sat around for hours crying without being able to stop. But I miss those people every day. Every day I have to come to a place that is devoid of joy and spirit.
I moved to Cleveland. I’ve always wanted to live in a major city, ideally, Cleveland. I’m helping friends renovate their rental house in exchange for a place to live. We’ve built a whole new bathroom and kitchen. Trust and believe we have a lot more to do, but we will get there.
I adopted a dog. A silver/blue Pit Bull I named Daisy-Lou. She is completely awesome.
I got a new job. I don’t make enough money. I do, however, have awesome benefits. Oh, and I don’t have to feel like my soul is being pulled out through my nostrils when I’m doing this job.
I took a lot of mini-vacations this summer. I spent quite a bit of time on Lake Erie. Water always calms me. When I got my passport in preparation for taking a long vacation in Iceland, I was so excited that I just had to break it in. I went to Canada for a few days with a friend of mine. While we were there, we did the zip-line excursion near the falls. It was pretty damn cool. The best part was talking my friend into doing it. She’s the last person I ever thought I’d see dangling from a line over a canyon or whatever they call it. Mad props to my HLM, Mary.
I went to Iceland for roughly 2 weeks. It was amazing, and I didn’t want to come back. I already told you about snorkeling along the Silfra Rift in another blog, so let me share a snapshot of me on an Icelandic horse (they get offended if you call them “ponies”).
and here we are.
Goals for 2020:
- Do more of what makes me feel good and less of what makes me feel bad. This applies literally and figuratively.
- Launch the podcast that Barb and I keep talking about.
- Learn something new every day.
- Make real progress on my dream of writing a book.
Happy New Year, folks.
One thought on “Personal Inventory”
so much pain
and here you are
making gold out of it.
there is nothing purer than that-
Solid gold shit, to be precise…
I saw you perform a marriage ceremony this year! ❤
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